you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
