im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
