one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
