he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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