Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
