Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize