In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
