**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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