can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
did i just pee glitter
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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