You work out of a Hotel?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize