If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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