I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
