My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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