There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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