Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
