the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
