every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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