i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
