Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
