If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize