I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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