I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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