Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did I show you my penis last night?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
