Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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