I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
