Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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