Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
