cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
