Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
