you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
