Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
