Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
