i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
