Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
