Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
