whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
