I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
