That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
