maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
