saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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