There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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