Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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