I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize