NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
