it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
