I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
they're like a gay fantastic four
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
