i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
