I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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