similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
