We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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