sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
