no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
