I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
