YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
