I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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