My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
