i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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