About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize